You know, if you get your best hip hop mate to do a beat box rhythm and then you rap along by reading all the titles of today's dominant thread, you'd get a pretty banging tune out of that motherfuck.
While not wanting to come over all gnomish - and it's not like they don't encourage that - it's back vaguely to the football for me. Not that this weekend inspires me even remotely. Another game with Sheffield United. Even with the added interest of Neil being our manager, it's still a match that will never, ever get the juices flowing. Unless you're a giraffe who happens to like both teams for some ludicrous reason. Liking other teams in the same division as yours should be a faux pas on the level of Prince Phillip being a bit racist but Lloydy don't care. He just can't get enough of Nick Montgomery and his rugby-style body.
I suppose in the old days Neil would have been one of the men that I would have drawn the line at when it came to choosing QPR managers. I've accepted him now as my new messiah. There's a large framed photo of him above my mantelpiece and each day I kneel before Neil before beginning another day of depressing unemployment. Still, a glance at Neil every now and again keeps my spirits up.I've even started investing in Elizabeth Arden skincare products because Neil does that too. I'm already noticing the difference. My skin feels toned, more refined. I'm 68! Not bad, nuh?
I would, though, draw the line at Kevin Blackwell. After all, there are people who claim he's just a shit Neil Warnock.In fact, Sheff U managers are often odious squirts, aren't they? There's Blackwell, there was Neil before he became likeable, there was Robson, who wasn't odious, just rubbish, there was Steve Bruce and of course Dave Bassett. It's like they deliberately attract them. And they had Russell Slade, too, as a caretaker! Russell Slade! (OK, I don't know who Russell Slade is - did he go and manage Yeovil for a bit? I seem to remember a Russell Slade playing for Melchester Rovers at one point - I think he was a bit of a troublmaker, though. Probably liked rap music or something).
As I've said before (and sorry for this, but it's difficult not to repeat yourself when you play Sheff Utd ever three weeks) Blackwell has always annoyed me. Complaining about lack of money while at Leeds just before creaming £1m on Richard Cresswell or Rub Hulse. The former is only ever worth signing if he's playing against QPR every week, which, I suppose, makes him a great player for the first 3 months of this year. Earlier in the season when they lost loads of games Blackwell started laying into a local Sheffield journo for daring to ask what was going wrong. His answer boiled down to the ball not bouncing where he wanted it to. It then apparently started bouncing properly, but has now stopped doing it again (maybe the pitches are too hard with all this freezing weather?), because the other night they did what many thought only a team as shit as us could do - lose to Peterborough.
Naturally, he blamed injuries: "That is seven or eight players players out with injuries from in a squad of 21, 22". See? He's pleading that it's all down to a small squad. Of course, a quick check of Soccerbase reveals a squad of 24, PLUS 5 players in on loan, while striker Billy Sharp has been shipped off to a local rival where he's banging goals in. It's hard not to see this as at least *partly* Blackwell's fault. And that's even before you consider that he spunked £3m on Ched Evans, who has managed three goals all season. Tsk, I remember LoftForWords going mental that we never signed Evans to 'show some intent'. Million quid a goal, there. Naturally, had he not just broken his collarbone I would not be saying any of that, because it would guarantee him goals tomorrow.
Someone who will score is Mark Yeates. One goal is all he managed for Boro. That was against us. In fact, he's played against us just three times. And scored every single fucking time. Just how many such players are there? Cresswell is just as bad. He's scored 5 times against us for FOUR different clubs. Then there's Earnshaw, Morrison, Burgess, Sharp, Stead and Tudgay. Have they got a little club together? If one of them scores against us do the whole group go to Claridge's for a big meal and the latest scorer has to pay for all? How many times do you need to score against us to join? Or is it purely a ratio thing worked out after a minimum of three games?
Anyway, it seems strange that despite our diabolical run, we are just 5 points behind United, who are after the play-offs, with a game in hand. If we win tomorrow we could overhaul them pretty quickly. That won't happen, of course, but it's a sign of how odd this league is. In truth, their form has been ropey since the end of January. They shipped three twice in losses to Albion and Watford.They could only draw at home to Derby before losing at unpredictable Preston. Then they lost three of their last 5 all by 1-0, including that Posh defeat and also losing to a Paul Hart team, which as we know is quite a feat. They did beat Bristol City, but City are in freefall, and United only just edged Plymouth 4-3 at home. God only knows how anyone could concede three to Plymouth.
More often than not we draw or lose at Bramall Lane, but we do have that marvellous 3-2 win to remember in Gary Waddock's first game in charge. We had Sean Thomas on the bench that day. How many know what position he played, eh?
Match Prediction
I strongly expect Neil to stick with the same team for a third game running. We all know Hogan should be dropped, but it's good to keep a winning side. Looking for team news just scared me. According to Blackwell on their official site, Blades turned down a request from us to speak with him last summer. Christ. We were that desperate. Anyway, Ched is out for them with his collarbone done in and Jamie Ward who terrorised us in the Cup replay is probably out too with a hamstring. I assume we're at pretty much full strength. Apparently, we're 5/2 with Bet365 for the win, which ain't half bad considering their injuries and our return to form. Should be a day to rival Beckham's emotional return to Old Trafford in the week with Neil going back. He'll probably walk off with a red and white scarf. Blades 1 QPR 1.
Preview
You know, if you get your best hip hop mate to do a beat box rhythm and then you rap along by reading all the titles of today's dominant thread, you'd get a pretty banging tune out of that motherfuck.
While not wanting to come over all gnomish - and it's not like they don't encourage that - it's back vaguely to the football for me. Not that this weekend inspires me even remotely. Another game with Sheffield United. Even with the added interest of Neil being our manager, it's still a match that will never, ever get the juices flowing. Unless you're a giraffe who happens to like both teams for some ludicrous reason. Liking other teams in the same division as yours should be a faux pas on the level of Prince Phillip being a bit racist but Lloydy don't care. He just can't get enough of Nick Montgomery and his rugby-style body.
I suppose in the old days Neil would have been one of the men that I would have drawn the line at when it came to choosing QPR managers. I've accepted him now as my new messiah. There's a large framed photo of him above my mantelpiece and each day I kneel before Neil before beginning another day of depressing unemployment. Still, a glance at Neil every now and again keeps my spirits up.I've even started investing in Elizabeth Arden skincare products because Neil does that too. I'm already noticing the difference. My skin feels toned, more refined. I'm 68! Not bad, nuh?
I would, though, draw the line at Kevin Blackwell. After all, there are people who claim he's just a shit Neil Warnock.In fact, Sheff U managers are often odious squirts, aren't they? There's Blackwell, there was Neil before he became likeable, there was Robson, who wasn't odious, just rubbish, there was Steve Bruce and of course Dave Bassett. It's like they deliberately attract them. And they had Russell Slade, too, as a caretaker! Russell Slade! (OK, I don't know who Russell Slade is - did he go and manage Yeovil for a bit? I seem to remember a Russell Slade playing for Melchester Rovers at one point - I think he was a bit of a troublmaker, though. Probably liked rap music or something).
As I've said before (and sorry for this, but it's difficult not to repeat yourself when you play Sheff Utd ever three weeks) Blackwell has always annoyed me. Complaining about lack of money while at Leeds just before creaming £1m on Richard Cresswell or Rub Hulse. The former is only ever worth signing if he's playing against QPR every week, which, I suppose, makes him a great player for the first 3 months of this year. Earlier in the season when they lost loads of games Blackwell started laying into a local Sheffield journo for daring to ask what was going wrong. His answer boiled down to the ball not bouncing where he wanted it to. It then apparently started bouncing properly, but has now stopped doing it again (maybe the pitches are too hard with all this freezing weather?), because the other night they did what many thought only a team as shit as us could do - lose to Peterborough.
Naturally, he blamed injuries: "That is seven or eight players players out with injuries from in a squad of 21, 22". See? He's pleading that it's all down to a small squad. Of course, a quick check of Soccerbase reveals a squad of 24, PLUS 5 players in on loan, while striker Billy Sharp has been shipped off to a local rival where he's banging goals in. It's hard not to see this as at least *partly* Blackwell's fault. And that's even before you consider that he spunked £3m on Ched Evans, who has managed three goals all season. Tsk, I remember LoftForWords going mental that we never signed Evans to 'show some intent'. Million quid a goal, there. Naturally, had he not just broken his collarbone I would not be saying any of that, because it would guarantee him goals tomorrow.
Someone who will score is Mark Yeates. One goal is all he managed for Boro. That was against us. In fact, he's played against us just three times. And scored every single fucking time. Just how many such players are there? Cresswell is just as bad. He's scored 5 times against us for FOUR different clubs. Then there's Earnshaw, Morrison, Burgess, Sharp, Stead and Tudgay. Have they got a little club together? If one of them scores against us do the whole group go to Claridge's for a big meal and the latest scorer has to pay for all? How many times do you need to score against us to join? Or is it purely a ratio thing worked out after a minimum of three games?
Anyway, it seems strange that despite our diabolical run, we are just 5 points behind United, who are after the play-offs, with a game in hand. If we win tomorrow we could overhaul them pretty quickly. That won't happen, of course, but it's a sign of how odd this league is. In truth, their form has been ropey since the end of January. They shipped three twice in losses to Albion and Watford.They could only draw at home to Derby before losing at unpredictable Preston. Then they lost three of their last 5 all by 1-0, including that Posh defeat and also losing to a Paul Hart team, which as we know is quite a feat. They did beat Bristol City, but City are in freefall, and United only just edged Plymouth 4-3 at home. God only knows how anyone could concede three to Plymouth.
More often than not we draw or lose at Bramall Lane, but we do have that marvellous 3-2 win to remember in Gary Waddock's first game in charge. We had Sean Thomas on the bench that day. How many know what position he played, eh?
Match Prediction
I strongly expect Neil to stick with the same team for a third game running. We all know Hogan should be dropped, but it's good to keep a winning side. Looking for team news just scared me. According to Blackwell on their official site, Blades turned down a request from us to speak with him last summer. Christ. We were that desperate. Anyway, Ched is out for them with his collarbone done in and Jamie Ward who terrorised us in the Cup replay is probably out too with a hamstring. I assume we're at pretty much full strength. Apparently, we're 5/2 with Bet365 for the win, which ain't half bad considering their injuries and our return to form. Should be a day to rival Beckham's emotional return to Old Trafford in the week with Neil going back. He'll probably walk off with a red and white scarf. Blades 1 QPR 1.
Preview Haiku
Warnock v Blackwell
A meeting of football minds
There will be neck ache