Relentlessly Negative Preview: Cardiff

Preview

Sorry, due to an actual job I don't have time to write my witty, erudite, and absorbing preview that my many legions of fans will be expecting today. It's a shame I know but in between other stuff I will try to cobble together something. Although I can't see the point. Last time I did one of these the game was called off (apparently Flavio asked God if he wouldn't mind crashing a few large clouds into the West London area - look at me going all topical and maybe even satirical - it's like a football Have I Got News For You), plus, it's Cardiff and they look good this season. Chopra is on fire, they have a new ground and we're likely to get well beaten. So what's the point of it all? Stupid football.

Of course, had the rains not come, had the pitch not flooded (I climbed over the gates to check it was really wet and I saw something like this), had Taraabt been in the mood and had Magilton finally found a way to convince the team to give someone a damn good hiding on our own patch, i might be a bit more my usual optimistic self. After all, as I said on Tuesday, I thought we actually played OK last weekend. And we have enough quality players to give anyone - *anyone* a fright. I actually think we've suffered from not facing a really big team this season. A nice home game with, say, Middlesbrough, would have brought fans and players together and a win might have really galvanised the team as a whole. Instead we've had a succession of middling teams who we all think we should beat and we've beaten none of them, except for Scunthorpe.

The Championship, though, is a funny old league. Cardiff drubbed Scunthorpe 4-0, which made our 1-0 look poor, until Scunthorpe put four past Palace and another three past Preston. Cardiff smashed Bristol City, but lost at Doncaster. They beat Reading last time out, but everyone beats Reading these days. They score less goals than we do. Middlesbrough, one of the biggest clubs in the league are buying players that they won't need if they go up, like Sean St Ledger (pictured here being visited in jail by an elderly relative and then pretending to talk on the phone. Anyone else think he's got a touch of the Le Saux's about him?), and players they don't even need while they're in this division, like Caleb Folan. We can't score goals, but sell our top scorer and loan our most experienced forward out to a local-ish rival-ish.

I mean, what's the point in making all these predictions and talking about it all when it's obvious that football is totally random. There's just no point to all the discussions and sometimes I just want to lie down and bury my head in a pillow and hope it all goes away, I really do. We all know that when you absolutely, least expect it, QPR will go and put in a performance and get a win (see Birmingham at home last season) and when you can't see how we can't not win a game, we find some way to do it. The dichotomy is that once you start thinking 'well, there's absolutely no chance we might beat Cardiff,' you start to reason that 'well, in that case, we might win, because we do that kind of thing.' But once you think that, you're back to the hope that we might win and therefore we won't. See how these things grow and become out of control?

Match Prediction

Last season we drew 0-0 at their place even with the much-maligned centre midfield of Ledge and Mahon. Poor old Mahony. He's well out the picture now, isn't he? Maybe he should re-grow the dreads. The last time we won in Cardiff was that memorable TV game where we played rather well, Ainsworth broke a thigh bone and tried to run it off, and Nick Ward put a beauty of a cross in for Ray Jones to slide home.

Anyway, Stephen McPhail is banned for them after being sent off v Reading for a high challenge that could have done serious damage - maybe even a broken leg, although to be fair I haven't seen it. Of course, Cardiff appealed to the Welsh FA, but for once they turned it down. "It's another poor decision by the FAW" said Davie Jones, as if admitting that all the times they've overturned Cardiff's red cards in the past have also been total bollocks. Maybe the FAW finally grew some. On top of that, Kevin McNaughton, who looks like a spindly old man but is actually quite good, is out injured, as are Etuhu, Ross Caramac and Adam Matthews. We don't have those problems, we just have absolutely tons of players to choose from and no one knows who's any good anymore. Even though we don't concede many away from home, we're still going to lose. Cardiff 3 QPR 0.

Preview Haiku

Sorry I'm depressed

Must be my time of the month

Cheer me up, Rangers.